Paula & Melissa United By Love

Marriage Counter Action

Love is in the Air

Monday February 14th--Valentine's Day--join us downtown Columbus (OH) for a marriage counter action. Loving couples will request marriage licenses from the state of Ohio. Civil marriage equality is coming. Be here for it. Be part of this change. Weall have a part to play in this wonderful affirmation of equal rights (and rites).

Meantime, log into Marriage Equality USA's website and volunteer to help make civil marriage equality a reality here in Ohio.

Freedom to Marry Day

Marriage is a Human Right

These are very interesting times. All over the world it seems, the desire for freedom, liberty, self-expression and self-fulfillment are being heard. In Tunisia, Iraq, Egypt, Iran, and as far away as Afghanistan, people are embracing the concept of freedom to give meaning to their lives, and hope to their dreams. The old expression, be careful what you ask for because you may get it seems appropriate here. Not many years ago the United States embarked on a military endeavor to depose a brutal dictator in Iraq, and hopefully replace despotic rule in that country with democracy. That effort shudders forward as we speak. It remains to be seen if democracy and liberty can or will take root in Iraq, a country tangled with sectarian adversaries, and generations-old hatreds.
And it remains to be seen if the concept of liberty and equality can or will take root right here in America, the home of the radical notion that "all men (and women) are created equal." It remains to be seen whether this nation will ever truly embrace the ideals on which it was founded, and bring the magnificent weight of law to bear on the inequity inherent in our civil marriage sanctions. At present many countries with reputations for human rights abuses, countries such as South Africa, have provisions for civil marriage equality. That's right, the United States of America is behind South Africa in human rights. By spreading the gospel of democracy abroad, it is coming home to America. Let's adopt the idea here, and make a giant leap toward that more perfect union we aspire to be. Marriage is not a heterosexual privilege; marriage is a human right.

Traditional Marriage

It's Very Simple

There's nothing wrong with tradition--Tradition surrounds us, from the way we observe National Holidays, to our impulse to educate ourselves, to our traditional view that we should "do unto others," etc. Tradition is a very good thing. But there are traditions that no longer serve society--slavery, child labor, six-day work weeks come to mind. We're eminently adaptable, especially when we identify a tradition that divides rather than joins us, a tradition that serves only to maintain a discriminatory position against certain members of our society. Civil marriage inequality is one of those traditions. We've identified a tradition that must be altered, because there are members of society who are barred access to a fundamental human right--the right to marry the person they love. It's very simple. Laws, attitudes, minds must be changed, through education, acceptance, legislation, to allow this change to take place, to the betterment of society, as the alteration of those listed traditions above did in their time. The idea that only whites could marry would today be laughable; likewise, that women 'belong' to their spouses. Blacks and whites marry every day, an act which was illegal in many states a few short years ago. Couverture laws prohibited women from owning property, holding employment and attending school not long ago, being instead, by tradition, subjected to their husbands' approval and discretion.

Tradition is a very good thing, unless its application causes discrimination. Then, our sacred tradition of adherence to equality under the law must take precedence. Civil marriage equality is a simple matter of allowing another discriminatory tradition to pass away, enlarging rights for society--which expansion is another of our cherished traditions.

Voting Rights Denied

No LGBT Voters

     Imagine it: Tuesday morning arrives, election day. It’s rainy, chilly, raw. It’s filled with portent anyway; anti-equality candidates are ascendant. Across the country the momentum of progressive change has ground to a halt. Winds of equality, hope, recognition of rights at long last, perhaps even a long-cherished hope of civil marriage rights, that fresh breeze has been stilled, stagnant. The heady triumphs of 2008 seem a distant memory. But you refuse to concede defeat, refuse to believe the ominous signs and portents, and head to the polls. Voting, choosing, having the option to select your leadership, however flawed and venal they might be, drives you to participate. Isn’t it good to at least have that option? If you can’t marry, at least you can vote.

    You arrive at the polling place where American flags skirl in the breeze, signs directing voters, the patina of Democracy is everywhere. You feel included, a part of the process.
    Then you see it: a large sign with a red cross-hatch splayed across the rainbow flag. What is this? You can’t quite read the smaller text, but the red slash demands your attention. A chill masses on your arms, and it is not from the wind. Closer, you read the message, in italics. “No LGBT voters allowed.” Surely you’ve read it wrong. You move toward the sign as if compelled. You realize you’re running, that your heart is racing. What in the world?
    You blink, read the sign, read it again. “No LGBT voters allowed.” This is some kind of a prank, you say. Wait till the precinct captain sees it. He’ll take it down right away. What a travesty. Draped with red, white and blue bunting, the gay pride flag’s hopeful, inclusive colors are interrupted, slashed across with the circle-slash denial symbol. “No LGBT voters,” you mumble the words.
    The twin doors swing wide, and a fellow wearing an official badge, an American flag pin in his lapel holds the door for a young married couple with two young boys in tow. They greet the older fellow, who rumples the youngsters’ blond mops. “Morning John, morning Marcia,” he says. “Come to vote early, I see.” They greet him, and enter.
    He sees you beneath the colorful flag, and starts inside. You rush for the closing door, seeing his name tag as he enters. Bill S.--Precinct Captain.
    “Pardon me, sir,” you say, hand catching the door.
    “What’s that?” Bill lets the door shut.
    You grab the handle just in time. “The sign, sir,” you say.
    “What about it?”
    “Well, I wondered why it’s there, it needs to be removed, it’s...”
    “It’s staying there,” he says. “And it means just what it says. No gays or lesbians can vote. Didn’t you hear about the amendment to the state constitution?”
    Feeling like you’re in the middle of a bad dream, you shake your head. “Amendment? What amendment?”
    “Back in ’04,” he says. “People stood up to defend what’s right. We can’t have people like that voting, there’s no telling what that will lead to.”
    “People voted against LGBT voting rights? That’s impossible,” you say, your head spinning. “That can’t be true.”
    Bill nods in affirmation, his smile filled with satisfaction. “Of course it’s true,” he sneers. “We had to stop all that nonsense--voting, and adopting and protection against getting fired. Next thing you know they’ll want to get married. Right here in our state. Can you imagine it? No sir, we took a stand. Stood up for what’s right. We’ve got our rights too, you know?”
    Dizzy with the exchange, you let go of the door. Your chest heaves. You blink back tears. Anger swirls inside you. You’ll tear it down yourself. You turn toward the flag, looking for its mountings, its attachments. Taking its corner in your hand you try to rip it off the post, but it’s moored with heavy staples, taped and secured to withstand winds from left and right.
    Still, you grasp at the hateful sign, until you feel the tap on your shoulder. You didn’t see the cop pull into the lot.
    He shakes his head. Then he motions toward the cruiser. “Damaging federal property, at a polling place no less,” he says. “You can leave now, or I’ll have to take you downtown.”
    The chill wind creeps under your sleeve. Rain spits and drips, and flags snap in the cold air. Couples march into the warm building to vote. You start the car, and put it into reverse. Then you drive away.

        
   
   

L.O.V.E.

L.O.V.E.

LOVE--It means a lot of different things, and just one thing. It means we care about someone. It's the one emotion that we can always count on to calm things down and make us feel better. Even when it brings us sadness, LOVE makes us feel more human and more in touch with everyone else, because it's a rare person indeed who has not been in love.

Here's a variation on the age-old concept. L.O.V.E. stands for Lets Only Vote Equality. They call this the silly season, the weeks leading up to an election. And this election promises to be sillier, yet more important than many in the past. For one thing it will be a referendum on some progressive pieces of legislation that have been inexorably wending their way forward in Congress toward long-overdue passage: Don't Ask Don't Tell simply must be eradicated; immigration reform must be addressed, including laws allowing partners of same-sex couples who are foreign nationals to stay in this country; Federal DOMA must be eliminated; Federal ENDA must be passed. There's a common thread here; all these initiatives center around equality under the law and due process. Many good, progressive legislators favor these equality issues. They need the backing of their constituents--that's us--to stand up to anti-equality forces, and win reelection. Check your slate. Check voting records. If your candidate has a history of voting equal rights, vote for them, regardless of party affiliation. There are good, conscientious legislators on both sides of the divide. Remember, L.O.V.E. Let's Only Vote Equality. It's not silly; it's the American way.

Scholarship Fund

Sexuality Studies Scholarship Fund

 It is time to recognize that LGBT youth are in danger. We can no longer ignore the fact that the suicide rate among LGBT youth is twice the national average. Interventions are required, but what is truly needed is a sea-change in social acceptance of gay and lesbian young people. There are those who discuss tolerance, and that is at least better than outright rejection. But tolerance is a low-grade form of dismissal, a condescending attitude that says, in short, I allow you to be who you are, it's okay if you're gay, I'll allow that. This is nonsense. Imagine someone saying I'm okay that you're straight. I allow you to be a heterosexual, go ahead if you must.
             For our part, we're promoting a newly created scholarship fund aimed at youth who identify as LGBT. It's called the Sexuality Studies Scholarship Fund. It is available at The Ohio State University to undergrads and grad students with a Sexuality Studies minor. The SS Major should be approved soon at OSU, marking the first such Sexuality Studies Major in the nation. The scholarship award will be based on an essay of between 500 and 1,000 words. The scholarship is awarded to the student essay which best exemplifies how sexual or gender identity 'difference' has had a positive effect on the author's life and how this difference influenced their decision to work for positive change in society. The award is $250 or more, which will be applied toward tuition and fees. There will be a Fall and Spring competition every year. Our goal is to advertise and promote the fund until it reaches endowment status at $50,000. At that point it will create one full scholarship.
              Anyone wishing to donate to this fund should go to http://www.giveto.osu.edu. Enter Fund # 313427.
Donations can also be made through Campus Campaign via OSU payroll deductions. Consider also dedicating part of your estate funds to this worthwhile and timely fund. These young people need recognition and acceptance now more than ever. For more information go to the Sexuality Studies website.
http://sexualitystudies.osu.edu/scholarships/